Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Bitching about feminism

There seems to be a misunderstanding about Feminism in a few places.

1. Being a feminist doesn't not mean you have to be a butch bitch. (Excuse me if you are&are.)

It does not mean you cannot wear skirts, cannot wear eyeliner, or cannot allow a gentleman to open a door for you. It does not mean that you can't allow yourself to feel emotional, feminine or girly. It is exactly the opposite of that.

Mika & me. Super femme, right? Dress, bling, lipstick and TWO purses? But, still, feminist!

Being a feminist means you can wear whatever you want because you have the right to choose for yourself. Feminists from the first & second wave liberated us from our bras & our skirts because that was all society let us wear. Being a feminist now (during the third wave FYI) means you can choose whatever you want. all societal norms have been questioned & now the way is paved for us to embrace exactly what our hearts desire.

Do NOT feel that a skirt makes you less of a feminist, or that a bra makes you more of a conformist. Instead, embrace how nice your legs look in those heels & skirt! Dance & feel pretty! Just because feminism is real & happening, does not mean we as women should avoid being the prettier, sexier and more desirable sex! (Also, I know a good number of gay men who could out pretty me any day, le sigh.)

If they choose to be feminine, let the men do as they please, also!
(JKJKJK! I made him wear this)

2. Feminism killed Chivalry.

No, I don't think so. I think growing up in a society with a different regard for etiquette & politeness killed chivalry. I found this great article that listed some chivalrous acts not always seen today:

Chivalry Rule #1: Should I hold the door for a woman?
Chivalry Rule #2: Should I pull out her chair? (I personally don't like this one. I can barely stay in the chair myself, let alone have us both guess how best to seat me in it)
Chivalry Rule #3: Should I walk her to her door?
Chivalry Rule #5: Should I pay for each date?
Chivalry Rule #6: Should I help her with heavy items or bringing in multiple items like groceries?
Chivalry Rule #7: Should I give her my jacket if she is cold even though I may be chilly too? (This may definitely be a man-only type of politeness, because I can't see many men fitting into my jackets)

A lot of these I do for other people (like 1, 3, 6). Why not help when you can: help your mom carry things, hold the door open for the elderly, give your seat away on the bus to someone who needs it more. The truth is, we simply don't live in a time when people are as conscious about how helpful they can be to another person. Feminism didn't do that. It may have shed light that men need not just do it for women (a woman can always help a man!), but it did not kill chivalry.

Want to see chivalry revived? Teach your children to open doors for you & help you carry things, teach your younger cousins to wait for their grandparents, and always wait for someone to enter their house before leaving them at the door (even if you're just staring from inside the car). When a man forgets to open a door for you, then open it for yourself! There is nothing wrong with that. And if a gentleman opens a door for you, thank his mother, who didn't raise no fool.

If you really want to know what feminism is up to these days, read BITCH magazine, the feminist response to pop culture:

Also, feminism makes it possible for all of us to camwhore as we please. If feminism never happened, do you think women would have been given webcams? Noooo!

Small because I'm shy (for now!)


  1. Societal norms have been questioned, but still women are expected to subscribe to them. Unfortunately, we still live in a society where we are expected to act and dress a certain way simply because we are women, and those who don't are considered deviations from the norm. While we are lucky that we live in a community (San Fran specifically) that routinely breaks gender conventions, many parts of America still feel that woman=feminine/passive and man=masculine/aggressive.

    I agree that TW feminism has allowed a woman to be who she wants (and to have to opinions she wants) as long as she understands its her choice. However, it's difficult to determine sometimes if the decisions are uniquely the woman's or if she is subconsciously influenced by her society. She still has a choice to wear whatever she wants, but how does she feel about what she's wearing? She may be wired to feel feminine when wearing a skirt, and not when wearing jeans and a t-shirt. The women of the 60s and 70s have allowed our generation to enjoy many freedoms that they had to fight for; however, there is still sexism in our society. And it's important for feminists to look at the decisions they make, question why they are making it, and look at what influences them in these decisions.

  2. I definitely agree that it is vital that feminists look at the decisions they make & why they make it & their influences.

    The part that struck me most about this post was actually the second part, we as a whole community need to look at our decisions. It would be nice if people were polite again & consciously helpful.

  3. Um, RIDICULOUS COINCIDENCE. I was going to post a camwhore post on my blog. LOLZ. Starring my new profile pic on fb/twitter.

    We were talking about this in my soc class last week. Feminism has become so misjudged in recent times that most people avoid the word. But being a feminist does *not* mean one solely has to focus on expanding women's rights. If anything, I think feminism is more of an equal right's movements. Because of the feminist movements, more focus has also been brought onto males and the stereotypes they have to face as well (such as height-favoritism; taller men are more likely to be promoted than those of average height or shorter).

    ... Random but I like the layout!!! :]

  4. Thanks! It's a blogger layout though. I still haven't gotten around to dusting off my PS or PSP and making another layout (have not done that in YEARS).

  5. I agree that to be a feminist you don't have to dress butch, but I disagree with it not killing chivalry. The foundation and concept of chivalry cannot coincide with feminism at all.